Think of Yourself Less 

'Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others'. While I am trying so hard to understand that one can not pour from an empty cup, I have always believed in and dreamed of helping and giving to others. I was recently watching a Yes Theory video with the Dalai Lama and his response to their question initially really upset me until I realised that the only reason it hurt was because it was true. It confronted my mind's attachment to its own suffering. One of my worst nightmares is to be viewed as or become a selfish person, however, mental anguish and, according to him even some mental illnesses, can be seen as an adapted extension of self-centredness. Even trying to explain this I feel upset because it makes me feel so so guilty. As someone who is recovering from mental illness and who has taken years to allow in the possibility that it's presence is not my fault, I find this learning throws me further into self hatred and disgust, but I don't think that that is what the Dalai Lama intends for people to feel either. I think his message meant that at times, as humans, we can become so wrapped up in our own little worlds that we forget about the one that is coexisting all around us. Such self-absorption can conceal the truth of reality and often our own thoughts and feelings become our basis of existence. What does your thinking look like? I don't think of you as much as you think of you, and you don't think of me as much as I think of me; the paradox is that I think of me so much because I worry about what you think of me and you think of you so much because you worry about what I think of you...yet we aren't really thinking of one another at all. We often only ever think about another when we are thinking about what another is thinking about us...I don't think my mind even understands that sentence hehehe. It is self centred, we are not thinking of the world, we are thinking of our world. We are thinking of a world which we have created in our mind that revolves around us; our core beliefs, our ingrained values and our inherent system of thinking. I think the Dalai Lama's teaching hurts so much because as human beings, it is in our intrinsic nature to think of ourselves. We are born alone and we die alone and so of course we view the world through our own perceptive spectacles. However, over the last few decades and centuries, the quality of the frames in which we view ourselves have dwindled, and thus we don't just think of ourselves...we hate, berate, attack and abhor ourselves. Such a grand statement, that our thinking has become self-centred and is the root of unhappiness, pain and even mental illness is perhaps so obscene only because it may be true. I don't think it is fair or accurate to say that mental illness is wholly self-centred. I am still learning and trying to accept the possibility that my own harmful thoughts are not selfish or self-centred but perhaps the instilled beliefs of which create such thoughts stem from a self-centred focus. I really don't know if any of this has made any sense ahhhh I don't think it makes sense to me but in my heart it does a little! Aside from the deep philosophical aspects of altruism and selflessness, giving to others also just makes you feel really happy, warm and fuzzy (you may like my previous post 'The Gift of Giving'). As we grow older most people do prefer to give rather than receive because knowing that you are responsible for another's smile is often a million billion trillion times more magical than being a receiver. I was doing some research on this and I just learned that a study has concluded a very high correlation between early death and a disproportionately high use of personal pronouns (me, myself, I)...if that isn't a reason to be more selfless I don't know what is!

Choose Your Thoughts

'We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves'. Our words are powerful magnetic beings of energy. Perhaps the two most powerful words in the universe are 'I am', because what follows, becomes. Our words have the ability to plant gardens but equally contain the potency to burn forests down. What we think, we become. What we affirm, we attract. It all sounds a bit metaphysical and allusive but whenever I start to doubt the power of my own voice and the sounds it emanates, I consider the influence of one single word; 'love'. As beings we are all really just craving and hoping for one thing; love. While love comes in different forms and doesn't always have to be verbal to be expressed, how many lives have been blessed, altered and benefited from the 3 syllables and 8 letters of 'I love you'. Isn't that powerful?! What's even more magical, is that each and every word which leaves our lips holds a vibrational energy. We understand the language of our tongues and so when we speak words of compassion and grace we emit a high positive frequency, but, when we speak words of bitterness and anger, we emit a low negative frequency. (I am trying to get into daily affirmations and the power of words more. I can't wait to write about my results and the power of the words in which I choose). A universal example which may help to understand: have you ever been at a party or about to go out with friends and you feel tired and fed up? You don't want to get ready, you don't feel excited to have fun, you just want to sit in front of the fire and watch Netflix like every single other night. But then, you get a phone call from your best friend and they completely change your mind frame. They tell you 'tonight is going to be amazing, we are going to have so much fun, you deserve to go out and have fun, you are beautiful and young and you only live once'. Suddenly that sense of dread morphs into pure glee. You play your favourite happy music and within the space of 60 seconds, your reality has altered from a negative to a positive state! It takes time and practice and a lot of trust to really implement this. Reading about quantum physics and learning of scientific experiments really allows my mind to trust this truth. I love watching videos on the rice experiment...soooo amazing!! Ok I've gotten so excited since writing these words and have convinced myself to do my own little rice experiment, create my own affirmation cards (perhaps I can create a deck of cards that I could share with you) and dive deeper into the magical power of our words!

Be Here Now

Be thankful for this moment, this moment is your life. This moment is all we have. I know it's such cliche to 'live in the moment' but it is true. As a recovering worrier, over thinker and perfectionistic planner (heheh genuinely think those should be things we should all try to be actively recovering from), living in the essence of each fleeting moment can be new and at times even scary. But as a beautiful angel told me recently; fear, nervousness and anxiety are all just feelings, tied together by a core thread of excitement. Each moment, being and thing is neutral, but the way in which we perceive it defines whether we experience it as positive or negative. For example, do you ever just look at something (for me it always seems to be when I look at trees) and see this object's meaning completely transform within your mind. It suddenly looses all pre-instilled objective meaning and it becomes so new, so raw, so complete and beautiful. The tree is no longer just a tree but it is suddenly an extension of yourself; a being of life with its own intricate soul. Or for example do you ever repeat a word so many times that it looses all context? Suddenly it no longer represents anything but a random collection of sounds from within. I am recently trying to apply this way of perception to every day little moments. Is it really that bad that it is raining or is it just because I have trained my perceptive mind to view it as a symbol of pain? Is my reflection in the mirror really so revolting or do I perceive that just because it is a pattern of thoughts that feel so real because I have trained my mind to believe that they are real. So many teachers say, 'change your thoughts and you will change your experienced reality' and that teaching is becoming more and more apparent everyday. If both psychiatrists, quantum physicists and spiritual healers are telling us to change the way we look at things and the things we look at will change..then it has to be true. Each moment is constant but the way in which we view it is fluid. That malleability itself is the very power that influences the stream of following moments which in whole create this very life. If you look in the mirror and cry at your reflection; the moments following that will be horrible...influenced by your own decision to believe something as negative. But, if you look in the mirror and smile at your beauty and inherent worth; the moments following that will be beautiful. Of course this can be so really tricky. How does one continue to smile upon hearing the news of a tragedy? How does one rejoice in the beauty of this world when they have just lost their home? How does one delight over their body when they can physically see it with their own two eyes as something to hate? Suffering, sadness and pain are inevitable but I think the importance of this teaching is learning that while we can and should embrace every moment and emotion, we should try our best to not allow our minds to attach to any agony. To feel, embrace and release. 

Rewrite Your Script

'If your mind carries a heavy burden of past, you will experience more of the same. The past perpetuates itself through lack of presence. The quality of your consciousness at this moment is what shapes the future'. In continuation of the last point, when we attach to the perceived pain of a moment, we can unfortunately subconsciously give that pain the space to grow; like a weed. If we allow the pain of one moment to manifest and transmute into every following moment, we carry a pain that eventually becomes meaningless. Suddenly years later, we realise that we are still holding the pain from a moment that occurred when we were young. That very pain becomes a filter of which we view our reality; thus creating more negative perceptions, and as a result more pain. It becomes the script of which we play out our life and anything that does not coincide with that script is either rejected our altered to align with our own truths...not the truth. Perhaps you may know someone who constantly seems to end up with draining or manipulating partners? This person may have an unknown internal script that they don't deserve love, perhaps something as small yet mighty as being rejected from a hug as a child created this belief system, and thus this person may continue to subconsciously attract horrible painful relationships and deny themselves of true happiness and love. Of course it is never obvious on a surface level but deep down when we dig, we can often realise that there is an underlying crux of held heartache. It's a vicious cycle that we all can and hopefully will evade through mindfulness, forgiveness, self compassion and love. I remember talking with someone once and I told them about something, which looking back now is so minor, from my past. I cried and cried and cried, over ten years later I still held so much pain from that moment and unknowingly, that moment had impacted on my belief system and infected the way in which I perceived my reality. Through recognising the attachment to that pain it became easier to understand why I have certain thoughts and beliefs..traced back to a single moment years ago! Is there any moment you can think of of which you still carry the emotions? Could you forgive the person/yourself, have compassion for your past self and notice how it impacts on your current life viewpoint? Then, can you let it go? It may take time to let such wounds fully heal, especially if they are deeply engrained, but I believe that even just cultivating attention and awareness is so truly powerful in itself. If you would like to learn more about this, I can not recommend 'The Power of Now' by Eckart Tolle enough..it is truly a life changing book! If you are unable to access it or perhaps don't like reading, he also has some amazing podcasts in which he also explains his teachings and outlooks!

This Too Shall Pass

Suffering is inevitable. Life is beautiful but it is also hard and then it is beautiful again and then it is hard. Life is in constant flow, a constant without any constancy hehe! No pain lasts forever and nor does any bliss, but in that realisation itself, we can find peace and joy. It is hard to remind yourself and trust that this pain is temporary. Some dark tunnels seem so deep and never-ending but I fell in love with this quote the first time I heard it and I think this alone can offer so much hope, 'the pain you have been feeling can not be compared to the joy that is coming'. I love to think of life as a heart monitor thing (so sorry I have no idea what this is actually called). Our hearts, the very essence of life itself, go up and down up and down...it's the natural flow of life. If we can remember that in times of pain and rejoice in it with gratitude in times of joy, life can become just so sweet.