The Secret That Changed My Life

'Be kind to the unkind, for they are the ones who need it most.'

What does it mean to be bad? When is the defining moment that transforms the true goodness of ones being into one of badness, one of rot? Where is the line that is crossed travelling from Heaven into Hell? 

I believe that all people are born good. I do not understand how a little baby could be evil, destructive or bad, yet still there are monsters in this world today that take the form of human beings.

You have heard the story of the bully. The big bad wolf who tears others down, rips them to shreds and shatters hearts into tiny pieces. Why would someone do that, how could anyone do that, how does so much hate build up in a human being that they believe they can therefore destruct others?

But what if I told you that that big bad wolf was once, and still is, a scared little baby; innocent, abandoned and full of fear. Perhaps they were abused in their youth, perhaps they experienced horrific events, perhaps they were left to fend for themselves. They may be extremely lonely, insecure, jealous or a victim. Could it be understandable then that this person, as a result of past and present suffering, amounted so much internal pain and so through personal ignorance and lack of insight felt that the only way they could release this excruciation was through in turn placing that pain upon others. 

Something had to have happened to this person to destroy their tenderness and create such a monster.

Think of someone who has hurt you, who has caused you intolerable pain or of whom you are struggling to forgive. Now, if it feels comfortable, imagine you and that person both as a little baby, the exact same; pure, innocent and untouched by evil. But what if you were switched at birth? You now grow up surrounded by the exact same people of which that person is, you are taught their morals, you endure their hardships and experience their highs. Regardless of whether you are aware of their past circumstances, it is impossible to be anything but exactly who that person is even if really deep down you are truly you. How are you to know the difference between right and wrong without context of who you truly are and not the person you have become? Just like an animal, you develop certain characteristics that morph you into that person as a way of survival due to your surroundings and experiences...therefore it is only understandable that you could be that way, that you could be that person.

What if we decided to fill those who are full of hatred with love? What if the next time you came into contact with that same person from above, you rose above their pain and saw their behaviour as an ignorant pitiful outlet of the suffering which they were never able to express or heal. Watch what happens when you transform that person who his tearing you apart into someone who is to be pitied and dealt with compassionately. When you choose love, fear beings to dissolve. That doesn't mean you have be ok with their behaviour or devote your life to saving, transforming or fixing them...this may simply just give you the peace and serenity to move on with your life, to let go, forgive or focus on the beautiful positive people, things and memories you have and are yet to experience. 

I once had a person in my life who terrified me with their presence. I couldn't sleep the nights I knew this person would be around the following day, I would shake when they spoke to me for fear of upsetting or angering them and I even collapsed one morning when I walked upstairs and saw that they were on duty, (I have a pain in my tummy thinking of them now ahhh). I knew there was no way of avoiding this person, of escaping their presence or of altering their treatment of others which at times terrified me, so I had to try to take a different route to survive through it. After lots of writing and talking with family I realised the only way to sit through it was to simply just sit through it; armed with compassion, empathy and awareness. I never liked their behaviour but I began to learn to accept that they had to have been this way for a reason. Their attitude was no reflection on me as a person but I just happened to be that someone of which they could release their suppressed pain upon. Deciding to look beyond their behaviour and search into their past through empathetic eyes greatly changed how I felt. I prayed for them every night, I wished them love, healing and peace. I no longer felt quite as petrified in their presence and I was then able to focus on the good, kind, caring people and things that were surrounding me. 

'Be soft, do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.'

Wish pure love and soft peace upon those who have been unkind to you, it will set you both free.